Eat THIS.
Here's another book I can't wait to read: Sex at Dawn
Some quotes from the interview with one of the authors:
"People have said that we’re arguing against love — but we're just saying that this insistence that love and sex always go together is erroneous."
"I think the Bill Clinton and Lewinsky situation could have been such a great opportunity for the culture to grow up instead of wasting so much time and money and political capital in this investigation of a victimless crime. If the Clintons had gone on their "60 Minutes" interview and just said, "You know what, our sex life is nobody’s business but ours," I think the country would have been so much better off."
"I think gay people have an advantage because they’ve already gone through a process of saying: "Look, my sexuality is what it is. I’m not ashamed of it. I’m going to live openly and in accord with it." That puts them on a different level than most heterosexual people who are able to pass along and pretend that they fit into the normal parameters."
"...the United States looks very adolescent, in a positive and negative sense. There's its adolescent energy — its idealism — but there’s also an immaturity and intolerance toward the ambiguity of life and the complexity of relationships."
"And the American insistence on mixing love and sex and expecting passion to last forever is leading to great suffering that we think is tragic and unnecessary."
I'm moving to France. Oh, and the knee-jerk male chest-thumping "I am the MAN" commenting that happens whenever Salon publishes an article like this has already begun. I'm always surprised how much the supposed lefty-liberal readership actually hates women who own their sexuality.
12 comments:
Decades of monogamy with one person clearly isn't for everyone -- I don't see how anyone can deny this. The baffling thing is why people so adamantly refuse to admit it and insist there must be something WRONG with those who won't force themselves into the mold.
Must go read comments now!
I'm a right-leaning libertarian type and so partially anathema to the good Miz Aileen. In spite of her natural hatred for my righty-whitey arse, I am in total agreement with her.
UP WITH SEX! BURN YOUR CHASTITY BELTS!
Hells to the face-in-a-pillow-down-on-all-fours-bent-over yeah ;)
Gekko- I hate no one! I come from a long line of righty-whiteys :) I even understand the gun thing, coming from a place where "opening day" refers to hunting season and not baseball!!
And Jodie, big ups to you, I always say, when my palms are on the floor do you think I'm thinking what a nice manicure? Hells to the no, baby, I'm figuring out how to avoid woodburns on my knees!
tongue in cheek darlin'. Mine, not yours. Sorry, boys.
When I posted this yesterday, the comment section of the article was just getting rolling. So I just went back and read through the comments section, and wow, just wow. Lots of fear out there when people have their belief systems challenged. It seems a lot of the (mostly male) commenters believe:
A) The opposite of monogamy, or in other words, marriage, is promiscuity.
B) People who are not inclined toward monogamy are baaaaad (I believe one commenter used the word "whoremongers," which I take to mean he believes women who are not married, er, monogamous, are just whores.)
C) People really don't like to have their belief systems challenged. In fact, they don't even recognize their beliefs as beliefs -- they think that because they believe it, it's a fact. Why the heck can't people say "it's true -- for me," why do they think that just because it's true for them that it must be true for everyone?
D) Some people in monogamous marriages think their monogamy is some sort of badge of integrity, that they stand on some higher moral ground than the non-monogamous among us.
E) People sure do have strong feelings about sex, don't they?
F) It only takes a few minutes for people to make the jump from moralizing about sex and marriage to blaming every problem with marriage in America on the gays, the Jews, and the atheists.
G) For these folks, the next logical step in examining the possibility that maybe, just maybe, not all humans are hardwired to be monogamous is that if we all aren't monogamous, it's a steep, fast, and slippery slope to murdering, raping, pedophilia, and perversion, and ohmygod the worst thing of all, Frenchness! Because as you all MUST believe, it's monogamy that keeps the murdering and raping at bay! I'll bet those damn non-monogamists will want to take away our guns next!
H) And if you aren't in a monogamous relationship your life must surely be sad and sordid, an empty shell of existence with no meaning whatsoever!
Any questions?
I have no idea why so many humans are so wrapped around sexual oppression/suppression/repression.
It can be one of the most amazingly delightful things in the universe, a true "gift" from whatever gives gifts if you believe in gift giving whatsits.
Leave it to people to take something wonderful and turn it into a weapon, or something sordid and horrible.
I think it's another form of conversation. No one seems to understand what I mean when I say that.
A joyful, noisy, telltale-tuft-on-the back-of-the-head-leaving conversation. Punctuated with puppy sounds and dirty giggles.
Okay, as male rep for the long term married people here, let me just say this about that: You go, girls.
But, you know, sex can be such a complicated transaction, with recriminations and confused feelings and all that awkwardness. Which is why I like having it with my wife--It's easy like Sunday morning.
Good on ya, Throckey! I don't begrudge anyone who has a long and HAPPY marriage as yours seems to be!
I just don't think "being married" is the only way to have happy long-term relationships. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed. Together for 23 years, with two fantastic kids, and not a marriage certificate to be seen. It can be done! Maybe it's because she's Canadian or something.
Now I have that damned Commodores song in my head. Thanks a lot, Throck.
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