By the Skin of My Frickin' Teeth

Whew.

Finally -- a 3-week freelance gig at a major media corporation, doing something I am good at, at a decent rate. Twenty-six bucks an hour isn't going to dig me out of a debt hole anytime soon, but money coming in is better than money going out, even if I should actually be making about 35.

And, I'm on my way out to Long Island to sell my car to one of those car-buying services. I don't care if they give me 500 bucks for it -- again, money in vs. money out. I haven't driven the damn thing in 3 years and I don't NEED a car in NYC.

I can put the blow-jobs-for-cash idea on the back burner for the time being, at least. Last week a guy I used to sleep with offered me a hundred bucks for one -- I TURNED IT DOWN, OF COURSE. But, hey, at least now I know what my rate should start at.

Free Hitchens

A Barnes & Noble gift card is probably one of the best gifts that you could give me, so when an acquaintance passed on to me a $25 gift card that had been given to him I was only too happy to accept it.

Hey, I'm so unemployed and flat broke, at this point I'm considering theft and prostitution to earn a buck, so who am I to turn down a freebie like that?

Besides, not being able to figure out how to spend twenty-five bucks in B&N is a special kind of stupid, so I'm happy to profit from his stupidity.

So, of course, I picked up Hitchens and the latest issue of Esquire. I've been dwelling a lot on Hitchens lately, I know.

Total out of pocket for the book and the magazine? 25 Cents. Yes, I handed over a quarter and walked out of there feeling like I had gotten one over on The Man.

I was lucky to get home on Friday in time to catch Hitchens on Bill Maher, as well. Then I spent the entire weekend engrossed in the book, emerging at about 5pm yesterday, squinting and exhausted.

Ok, here's what I came away from it with: CH is not just some bloviating blowhard. He's an intellectual blowhard. I haven't decided yet if that's better or worse than just being a blowhard. Then again, if you have to dislike someone's personality, at least expend the energy disliking someone whose intellect you respect, right?

And I'm slowly beginning to believe, despite scary things like The National Day of Prayer (read this if you want to be truly terrified), there are more atheists, or nontheists, or non believers, or whatever the hell you want to call us, than you might think.

Giuliani Said This (Really. I'm Not Kidding)

"Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do."

Arbeit macht frei!

Hitchens!

Gosh durnit, he's everywhere. If nothing else, he's garnered a LOT of press attention with his book, "God is Not Great."

He was on Anderson Cooper last night, and well, he came off, if not exactly likeable, then at least reasonable.

Now Salon has this article about his book.

Paula's Interview - Question #1

Paula's interview has been fermenting in my in-box for a few weeks now -- I wrote out thoughtful and considered answers on my G3 at home, dutifully saved them to a zip disk only to find out that no one has zip drives anymore at internet cafes. Sorry for the piecemeal, Paula.... Questions 2-5 will be along later!


1. Name a writer who greatly influenced you and why.


Anne Lamott -- She's a Christian, I'm an atheist. Yet she is so raw and real in her essays, which I have to say I prefer to her fiction. "Bird by Bird" is one of the best books on writing that I have ever read. One of the others is "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg.


Tom Robbins -- He talks about important things in a lighthearted way. Saw him speak at B&N in Union Square a few years back. He looked down my shirt when I bent over to put my book down for him to sign, then looked up at me and gave me the most joyfully dirty grin I've ever seen. Also the writer with whom I'd most like to have naked playtime.


Richard Russo -- When I was growing up, before its 80's renaissance, Pittsburgh was a dying blue-collar town, so I know the people in his books. He treats all of his characters with respect and humor, even the not-so-nice ones. Turns a phrase that can make you bark with laughter out of the blue.





Michael Chabon -- I mean, come on. Read "Wonder Boys." If the image of an aging, overweight stoner professor driving around in a vintage 70's Yank Tank with a dead dog and a tuba in a pony-print case in the trunk doesn't have you on the floor, you can't ever be my friend.








Steinbeck -- Probably the greatest American writer of the 20th century. A man's man without all that machismo Hemingway bullshit.

Talkin' Out of Both Sides of My Mouth

The yin and yang of the world is demonstrated to me again, and again, and again.

I hate Christoper Hitchens. I hate his pro-war stance. I hate his Bush apologism. I hate the way he behaves when he is on television (boorishly drunk, most of the time).

Then, dagnabbit, he goes and writes a book in the Dawkins/Harris genre, with a viewpoint that I agree with.

I admit, I have a hard time separating the artist/writer/philosopher from the person. Anyone else ever hear what a complete asshole Miles Davis was? Or that Adolph Hitler was a dog lover? Yeah, me too. I boycotted Elvis Costello for about a millisecond back in the 80's when I heard that he was making anti-Semitic remarks. Then, well, then, you know what happens next... It's the fucking music, man. It's a slippery slope.

I guess we project "goodness" on the people whose art or whose viewpoints we admire...and dualistically, "badness" on those with whom we disagree or whose art we dislike. The whole need to create separateness and otherness is basically what's at the bottom of all conflict and violence. Isnt' it?

Well, with a sigh, I'm off to B & N to check out Hitchens. But I just want you to know, I feel like the caveman that bought Geico.

Uh, Just Whose Self-Esteem are We Restoring Again?

I just have to accept it.

Sigh.

You men are never going to get over your balls.

Or any balls, for that matter.

The Great Pop-Tart Debate

Ok, this is completely inconsequential, but lately I've been having many conversations with my friends about Pop-Tarts. I don't know anyone who actively dislikes a Pop-Tart, but a debate rages about which is the best flavor.

I stand firm in my assertion that if you're going to eat a Pop-Tart, Frosted Strawberry is the way to go. It toasts well and seems to have the best frosting which stays crunchy when toasted -- not to mention the little colored sprinkles IN the frosting.

Another friend swears by the Frosted Cherry, so in the interest of good scientific experimentation, I bought a box of them, and was, frankly, disappointed. They got far too mushy in the toaster, sagged and broke against the sides, and the frosting and filling melted onto the inside of the toaster. The next time I wanted to toast something, the gooped-on filling started to burn and filled my house with the stench of burning sugar!

Usually I buy my Pop-Tarts as if I'm conducting a drug transaction, on the down low, at my corner deli, and I always buy something "necessary" to hide my true intentions. Because I needed to buy kitty litter and paper towels at midnight. But my corner deli does have a limited selection, usually just the strawberry and cherry.

I marched myself over to my big grocery store and sought out the Pop-Tart Aisle. Man! When did they introduce all those flavors? Grape? I can't wait to try Grape! I remember the commercials from my childhood, and the tag line was something like, "Blueberry, Cherry, and Brown Sugar Cinnamon!"

Ahhh, the Brown Sugar Cinnamon. They were my very, very favorites when I was a child. I've looked in several grocery stores and haven't been able to find the elusive Brown Sugar Cinnamon. I feared for a while that they had been discontinued, but according to the good people at Kellogg's, they do still exist. I will just have to range further afield to find them, I guess.

And I gotta say, "S'mores" flavored Pop-Tarts just sounds gross.

We're All A Little Monkish

The P occasionally sorts her M&M's.

Ever since I moved into my railroad apartment with NO sink in the bathroom, my toothbrush lives next to my kitchen sink. And then, hearing somewhere that toilets spray a mist of something like 10 feet when you flush them -- I cannot STAND to have my toothbrush in a room with a toilet in it. GROSS.

How are you Monkish?

Remind Me, Please....

Someone, please remind me about all the "shoulds" that we're supposed to adhere to when it comes to family, and why those "shoulds" are true. You know, all that happy horseshit about how we're supposed to love our siblings no matter what.

Well, right now, I'm feeling so annoyed right now at my brother that I'm sorry that I share one single strand of DNA with him.

Some examples of his words of wisdom recently:

"If you haven't found a job yet, you aren't going to."
"You need to find something else to do besides the career you've been in."
"(insert any social problem here) is the Women's Libber's fault."

Sorry folks, right now, I hate those people.