Thursday, August 31, 2006

George W. Bush's Greatest Hits!

Sidney Blumenthal does a pretty good job of giving us the major bullet points right here.

A disgrace.

And I do have to offer my own little conspiracy theorizing now. Rather than outrage that the CIA closed down the bin Laden unit in July, I think we should look at the story with a more jaundiced, cynical eye.

Maybe they shut it down because they've got him.

Can anyone say "October Surprise?"

Friday, August 25, 2006

Pluto Demoted, Goofy to Fill In as Interim Ninth Planet

When reached at his home in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, Goofy commented, "While I am deeply sorry that Pluto no longer fits the requirements to be a planet, I sincerely believe that my past long commitment to my previous employer amply demonstrates my ability to fill the position for many millennia to come."

Pluto declined further comment through his representatives.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

just need to make this observation once again

I'm sure I've said it before, but this week it bears repeating.

I am a Psycho Pest-Strip.

Tomato, tomahto

Saw a woman on the subway today with twins and it got me thinking about multiple births and the number of folks out there who are doing all that witch-doctor fertility treatment stuff.

A friend of Roni's is doing it. This chick is a lovely specimen -- the day I met her, I sat in the back seat of her car and listened to her spout racist venom at just about everything. "That raghead parking lot attendant is taking a job away from some white kid." "Those don't sound like Harleys. They must be Jap bikes."

I was stuck in a car with this for an hour, if we hadn't been in a scary looking part of Brooklyn that I didn't recognize, I would have gotten out and found a subway home. I just hunkered my Jap ass down and kept my mouth shut. Roni just looked embarrassed.

I also had to listen to this creature talk about all the fertility treatments she has been going through. Unsuccessfully so far, I might add.

I dunno.

You say "infertility." I say "natural selection." Look at the people you see on the news programs who are having septuplets -- take a reallllly good look at them. Do you think maybe, just maybe, nature intended certain strains of DNA to be stopped in their tracks?

But I forget myself and where I am. This is America, after all, where if we want something, we feel absolutely entitled to have it.

(Although that leaves open for consideration the strange fecundity of Nancy Crackhead on the first floor)