1) Listen to your gut, and to the obvious signals.
If, when you sit down with the married man for the first time, in that sunny restaurant garden on a holiday Sunday, and the first words out of his mouth are, "I've never done this before," and you feel a ping of apprehension, listen to that ping. It's trying to tell you something: that even though he is THERE, and that he's taken this step, he is ambivalent.
Ambivalence is not good in situations like this.
At first, I listened to that ping and did the correct thing.
"Done what?" I asked, deciding to play "deliberately obtuse." "Have lunch with a friend?"
We had an absolutely delightful lunch, sitting in the sun and drinking Japanese beer, and he drove me home.
I asked him to drop me at my corner, because my Animal Sense told me, "He should not know where you live."
He turned to me from the driver's seat and said it right out:
"I really want to kiss you right now."
I like a man who asks, but with my brain in full engagement mode, I gave a little smile and tapped my cheek with one finger.
"Right here," I said. He had the grace not to seem offended.
Thanking him, I hopped out of the car and walked away without looking behind me.
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