I'm feeling conceited today. So there.
1) If I may say so myself, I look particularly good today. Full maquillage and dressed to the sevens (the nines would be, like, a ball gown or wedding dress) for tonight. I even fluffed my hair with a heat-generating implement, which hasn't happened since Easter Sunday.
2) I am wearing strappy black patent leather sandals with 4.5" stiletto heels. I love how your walk changes when you're wearing stilettos. I like the way every stiletto step says, "notyours, notyours, notyours, notyours," as you walk down the street. It's totally CFM. You know, as in "Come Follow Me."
3) I am noticeably thinner. Like, seven or eight pounds thinner. God, I love a stress diet.
4) Dear heterosexual men, do we need to explain to you why, "That dress is beautiful, you look really nice," is just wrong? You've got it backwards. Trust me. Try it. (Gay guys never make this mistake.) Every woman appreciates it when you tell her she looks beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment