I frequently take issue with Mary Elizabeth Williams' writings, but she hits the nail on the head when she writes:
But what I find sad is the notion that once you've invested a certain amount of time in anything — a field of study, a job, a relationship — the noble course is to grit your teeth and see it through until, presumably, you die. Breakups suck, but if you've ever been in a dying relationship, you know that the exhausting agony of keeping up appearances is no great shakes either.
I've wondered frequently why people think anything is permanent, when the evidence is right in front of us, every single day of our lives. NOTHING is permanent.
I don't know how my parents stuck it out for 60 years, because I know that they had some awful, awful times, particularly in the first 15 years, but by the end, as Dad's health was failing and Mom's brain was growing ever more addled, he would sometimes sit next to her and look at her and say, "Isn't your mother so beautiful?"
For all I know, they may have still loved each other.
On the other hand, maybe they were just a couple of folks mistaking stubborness for virtue.
2 comments:
One thing that really cheeses me off these days is any reference to the Gores' as a "failed" marriage. WTF? This act raised my respect for them. A couple whose long marriage makes causes me to feel otherwise are the Clintons. Unless they have a relationship that truly works for them just as it is. In that case yay them.
Anyway, yeah. Thanks for this.
I never really believed that Hilary gave that much of a shit about Bill's proclivities, and the "outraged wife" bit never rang true to me. I think their marriage works because they share one extremely powerful trait -- ambition. I think if Hilary thought Bill's horndog ways (Bill! I know you have a thing for bosomy brunettes -- call me!) would have hurt her political aspirations, she would have jettisoned him long ago. But I'm not in their marriage, so who am I to say?
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