Before I sign out for the evening, I do need to reassure y'all that I'm not just sitting around kvetching about the awfulness of this place, I am actually doing something. I'm in touch with a client who needs a new PM, I'm in touch with a headhunter or two...
My resume has been updated and is ready to fly in a heartbeat.
I'm not really one to stand around when things get this bad.
Do you know what I realized today? I have been working here for six months and I don't have a single friend here. Not one. And I know that stuff isn't supposed to matter, but sorry, to me, it does. I'm supposed to be a grown up and all mature and stuff, but unless you've been the fat, homely, unpopular kid who got her own personal tormentor in the 8th Grade, then you just keep quiet.
I've never worked in such a place before. I mean, I have a trail of friends from past jobs that stretches back nearly two decades. It can't be me. I'm not THAT unlikeable. Annoying as hell sometimes, a real pain in the ass occasionally, but I didn't think unlikeable would figure into it.
I told my sister what happened and she started to cry for me. I'm tearing up right now because it brings back all those hurt feelings again, so I'm going to stop here. I guess I'm not done crying about it.
Look.
Here's Janey: If you have deliberately hurt my feelings and made me cry, I will be afraid of you from then on. If you have stood by and watched someone hurt me, I will never trust you again. In all cases, you have lost me. Forever.
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