30 Days

No reason for posting this photo other than it's a picture of Jordan Staal after he took a puck to the face, broke his nose, and kept playing. (I would require brown liquor and maybe something of the prescription variety) 6 foot 4 of hot Viking skating boy.  What can I say?  I'm cheap that way.

Just wanted to give you all a heads up -- the regular NHL season starts on October 7, 2010, which means that all of this feeling stuff may diminish somewhat, as I become a zombie to Versus, daydream over Sidney Crosby's kissable, corruptible pout, curse the day Alex Ovechkin was born while loving him at the same time, and wonder how Glen Sather still has a job unless he's blowing Jim Dolan.

My Pens play the Rangers at the Garden on November 29th, February 1st, and February 13th, and I intend to be there in my full obnoxious glory so everyone around me can chant "Crosby Sucks!" when I'm cheering.

Hooray for Hockey!

And I've got something much, much more exciting happening in a mere 7 days.

"I'm Score" -- Evgeni Malkin Translated From The Russian

(Did you people really think that just because the Penguins got knocked out of the playoffs I was done writing about hockey? Come now. We're in the middle of the Stanley Cup FINALS! Sometimes I feel like you just don't know me at all!)

Puck Daddy has a translation of parts of an Evgeni Malkin interview from Russian TV.

He is eloquent and generous about his teammate Sidney Crosby and has interesting things to say about his countryman Alexander Ovechkin, whom he describes as a "Russian Canadian" because of how quickly he adapted to the more physical brand of Western hockey. Ovie is one of the more, um, enthusiastic and irrepressible players in the NHL, and he has the PIM stats and suspensions to prove it.

It's nice to see Geno translated from his own language and not strangling on his attempts to speak English, even if his English struggles only succeed in making him look totally...ADORABLE.

Kid's gotta lotta class, our Geno does.

Class is something that seems to be in short supply in Philadelphia. But then again, are you surprised? It's Philadelphia.

Hockey Joke

Before I call it a day on blogging about hockey.

Go into a bar and order an "Ovechkin."

When the bartender asks what that is, explain:

"It's a White Russian without a cup."

Badump-bump.

I'll be here all week, folks, don't forget to tip your waitress.

Attribution: I read that on some comment thread on some hockey blog, at some point after the Caps were eliminated, so to the person who made it up, thanks and sorry I didn't catch your name!

NOVECHKIN

This man was a SUPERSTAR in the last 3 games of Round 1. Come Friday, I will want him dead.

Montreal Canadiens shocked the Washington Capitols in an EPIC Game 7 upset.

The worst team in the playoffs just routed and ousted the BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE in the first round.

Backed by insane defensive play, Habs goalie Jaroslav Halak Stood On His Head and stopped everything the Capitols threw at him. The last three games have been absolutely career-defining for Halak. He was breathtaking in the net last night. In the last three games of the series, Halak stopped 131 of 134 shots. If you don't know hockey, trust me, those numbers are insane.

NOTE: This is the last time you will hear Jane cheering for the Canadiens, as they go to Pittsburgh on Friday to take on Sidney Crosby and my Pens.

Can they stop Sid? Sid's a different animal than Ovechkin, which I wrote about in a prior post, and Sid's the more complete player. In fact, the Pens are a much more complete team than the Capitols.

In any case, I lift my glass to the Habs for providing one of the highlights of the first round, coming back from a 3-1 deficit, finding their swing, and taking out the biggest kid on the block. I'm sure this morning Washington is still sitting in the dirt, rubbing their jaws, and trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

If Montreal goes no further than this round (I pray), they will always be able to say, "We were on our heels, and we came back and we took out the Washington Capitols." Those are pretty sweet words.

On to Pittsburgh. Where they now have to face the defending Stanley Cup champions, who have appeared in the last two Stanley Cup finals. I don't think this is a mountain the Habs can summit, but they are to be commended for making it to base camp 2.

A Few Words About Alex Ovechkin

Today's NYTimes Sunday Magazine has an article about Alex 0vechkin that draws a fast pencil-sketch of the deadly Washington Capitols winger.

Now, I'm a die-hard, super-partisan Penguins fan, in awe of the sheer skill and talent that Sidney Crosby shows every time he puts on his skates. I.m bleeding and sweating black and gold with the best yinzer out there, but that doesn't diminish in any way
my admiration for players from competing teams who are, simply put, breathtaking to watch. Players who bring a level of wizardry to their game that make you sit back in your seat and just say, "How the FUCK did he do that?" Pavel Datsyuk. Marian Gaborik. Steven Stamkos. And the insane Alex Ovechkin.

Ovie and Sid are clearly the best the game has to offer, but they are two completely different players, as the Times article makes amply clear. If Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin were muppets, Sid would be Kermit the Frog, measured in speech and self-effacing to the point of invisibility. Ovie, on the other hand, is Animal from the Electric Mayhem, wreaking havoc all over the ice (go on youtube and search for "Ovechkin hit on Jagr". During the Games it was the hit heard 'round the world, with Ovechkin counting coup on the last generation's greatest European player, and basically stealing his spirit in the process.)

While Crosby looks like he just might be wearing a necktie under his sweater, Ovechkin is all grinning uni-browed sweatiness, rearranged features and missing teeth. At the risk of sounding disloyal, Sid looks like a hockey product, and Ovie looks like a hockey player.

So I'm reading this Times article about Ovechkin and it says "he has included a Crosby stick in a collection he has been assembling of sticks owned by the players he most admires."

Now, only hockey nerds might remember how Crosby's Olympics gear --including the gloves and stick he tossed aside in jubilation after scoring the game-winning goal against USA's Ryan Miller -- went missing after that game. Trust me, this was a national crisis in Canada.

After a few days of national anxiety, it turns out the missing gear ended up "mixed up" with a bunch of Russian gear after the Games before being recovered and returned to Crosby.

Hmmmmm. I'm not saying j'accuse, Ovechkin, but really?

I'm just sayin'.

Afterthought -- the Times says that Ovie is not a goon, and I do take issue with that, a bit. The Great Eight is known to be reckless on the ice, and has been suspended at least twice this season, and he is known to League officials, delicately, as a -- ahem -- repeat offender. The guy leads his team in penalty minutes, 'nuff said. I'm still holding a grudge against him for that knee-on-knee (an Ovechkin specialty) mugging of Sergei Gonchar last year.