Boy, They Sure Sleep a Lot, Don't They?

It's the last day of my vacation and the last day for me to observe the daytime habits of Mambo and Miss Kitty.

Mambo tends to curl up in his chair for hours at a time, then he wakes up, hurls himself off the chair, flops around on the floor like a landed fish for a second, then regains his feet and staggers around until he accidentally finds the food bowl. He eats for a little while, wanders around some more in the vicinity of the food bowl until he accidentally runs into it again, and chows down once more. Given his age (19+) I kinda think he eats the second time because he forgot he just ate two minutes ago. Then he wanders around some more, exploring the apartment with his forehead (punctuated with an occasional "chunnng!" when he makes contact with my geetar), looking for all the world like Stevie Wonder doing his "Isn't She Lovely" thing. This is broken up by his occasionally getting lost in a corner and wowling his way out. There are usually six big "WOOWWWWL's." I've counted. If I pet him in the middle of his litany, his tone immediately changes to a soft and inquisitive, "berruooot?" Then he wanders in the general direction of one of the 3 litter boxes in the house. If he poops, it's always IN the box. But because he's old and feeble, he never covers, just walks away nonnchalantly, ignoring the labrador retriever sized turds he leaves behind. (Where do they COME from! I ask you) If he pees, more often than not it is "litterbox adjacent." (Hence the rising stock price of Bounty paper towels, wee-wee pads, and "Nature's Miracle.") After two or three tries, he manages to hop back into one of the chairs, where he stares into the cushion for a half hour or so before laying down and going to sleep. He's so motionless that sometimes I get a little nervous and poke him just to make sure he's alive. He makes an "I'm not dead yet!" squawk, and usually repeats the food thing.

The little one, on the other hand, is only, I think, pretending to sleep. From my railroad flat vantage in the living room or kitchen, every time I look in at my bed, she's in there, lookin' at me. And lookin' at me some more. She will occasionally decide the I've summoned her telepathically and tear ass into the kitchen, where HER demands must then be met. She's one of the only cats I've ever had who actually says, "Meee-owww." The unbearable cuteness of this cannot be explained but must be witnessed, especially when I pet her and it turns into a Lumbergh-like "yeeeahhhh." It's not so cute when she jumps into my lap and "forgets" that my jeans-clad leg isn't a scratching post. She then visits the food bowl, where her eating habits seem to consist mostly of flinging the kibble all about the kitchen so I can sweep it up and throw it away.. Then it's time for HER visit to the litterbox, which mostly seems to consist of her covering up Mambo's leavings, then spending the next ten minutes or so gleefully flinging cat litter about the box as if it's New Year's confetti while meowing loudly. This is followed up by several hounds-of-hell laps of the apartment, after which she settles back onto the bed for more of that lookin' at me action. She's doing it right now!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all the proof you need that I have spent far too much time on vacation, my brain has turned to mush, and it is most definitely time for me to go back to work.