Game 6, Penguins 4 - Senators 3 in 1 OT

After a grim 3-0 start, the Pittsburgh Penguins finally showed up in Ottawa and began playing hockey.

Pissant cheapshot artist Matt Cooke was the surprise impact player of the game with 2 goals. In a post-regulation interview Cooke mentioned that during the break before Round 2 begins he will moonlight as a jack o'lantern model.



What can I say? I don't like the guy. But he did his job, and really well, on Saturday night.

Geezer Bill Guerin scored the 3rd regulation goal to tie the game, determined to kick seriously righteous ass in what is probably his final season with the Pens.


This is not a handsome man, in say, a Henrik Lundqvist sense. But oh, how hot he is. I believe the term is jolie laide. I can relate.

Scrappy blue-eyed cutie-pie Pascal "Eyelashes" Dupuis, sporting the fastest-growing and furriest playoff beard of any Penguin, slapped in the game-winning goal in overtime, at which point he adjourned to the Millenium Falcon for his ride back to Pittsburgh with Han Solo.



Just say it aloud. "Pascal Dupuis." It starts with a smile and ends with a kiss. How do you not love this man?

Sidney Crosby, with a frankly shocking -2 on the game, continues to sport the saddest playoff whiskers of any NHL player.



Really, this line is just an excuse to post this picture, because, hello, this is hot.

Pens win, 4-3, and advance to Round 2, which means that you all now have to deal with periodic hockey posts for at least two more weeks. So too bad.

And if you missed tonight's Weekend Update on SNL, it was the funniest it's been in years. My neighbor must think I'm insane.

Game 6, Pens-Sens Tonight

It's not a must-win, since the Pens're still ahead in the series 3-2, but it's an oughta-win, since from a pure talent perspective there is no reason on the planet this team should be losing to Ottawa. But after Thursday night's 3-overtime grinder at home, the Pens are back in Ottawa. If the Senators win this series and eliminate the Birds in the first round, then they just must want it more.

I am cooking dinner tonight for Veronica's birthday, and we are having a Bacon Explosion and Dom Perignon. I know, I'm some kind of philistine, but what better way to crack that bottle than to toast my beautiful best friend?

I got her a gift certificate for her favorite Williamsburg tattoo parlor. Is that weird?

Stopped by UVA wine shop, and guess what, it's rose season! Yay! Don't confuse it with zinfandel, you rubes.

Getting on the L train at Bedford, a guy saw my Crosby tee shirt, threw his arms in the air and bellowed a stadium voice, "PENGUINNNNNS!"

The word of the day is "sassy." Everyone is sassy and bushy-tailed today. Must be the weather.

Penguins-Senators, 7-4

I don't even know what to say. That game was insane.

I am spent. Does anyone have a cigarette?

Pens lead the series 3-1 and head home to the Igloo on Thursday night. One more and they're done and on to the next round.

Now to Chicago-Nashville, and I want Chicago to beat the everloving shit out of Nashville because THERE SHOULDN'T BE HOCKEY TEAMS IN TOWNS SOUTH OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE. Yes, I'm shouting and I won't apologize..

2nd Period Intermission Report

Kids, this game 4 is what hockey is all about. Penguins scored FIVE goals in the 2nd period.

More later. If we take a win back to the Igloo, it is OVAH.

My heart is about to burst and I am making a scene all by myself.

NHL Playoffs, Game 3

The Pens found their fangs and claws, finally.
Wait, there's something really wrong with that. Flightless birds. Fangs. Claws.

Do-over.

The Pens found their clubs and fists, finally.

Ehhhhh. Still not great.

Oh, the hell with it. The Pens and Sens played a fast, great, aggressive game, with a lot of snarling on both sides. Many penalty minutes assessed, mostly on that animal Jarkko Ruutu. I mean, honestly, what kind of name is "Jarkko Ruutu?" Who has two "k's" and three "u's" in their name? Huge scrum in the 3rd, with a massive dogpile with Brooks Orpik at the bottom, and when he was finally able to get up, he had a big grin on his face. God, I loves me a defenseman who loves his job.

Hockey trivia to make you sound smart: Brooks Orpik is named after Herb Brooks, the coach of the 1980 USA "Miracle on Ice" team.

Pens win, 4-2, and lead the series 2-1.

In other games, my favorite scrappy upstart team, the Phoenix Coyotes, caught the Detroit Red Wings completely off guard again, also winning 4-2 to lead their series 2-1. I am hereby, for the duration of the playoffs, putting aside my ironclad belief that there shouldn't be NHL teams in regions that don't have four distinct seasons. After all, Phoenix did used to be the Winnipeg Jets, so this round I give them a bye. I also have a soft spot for them because they have the fourth Staal brother, Jared. More on the Staals in another post.

Do you know how much hockey I have watched this weekend? ALL OF IT.

I'm spent, and need a cigarette and a shower.