Come Play with Mermaids

Roni and Janey at Ruby's, May 2010

My mermaid costume has arrived! And while I'm totally psyched, I don't understand why all costumes have become "(Fill in the Blank Character) as a Hooker."

Seriously, every woman's costume is now, basically, a Hooker costume. Even little girls' costumes are Baby Hooker costumes. I work with a guy whose 9-year-old-daughter told him she wanted to dress up as a "Sexy Pirate" for Halloween. The sad part of it is, he didn't sound particularly upset about it. In fact, he sounded kind of amused. Now, if I was a parent and if I had a kid who wanted to be a "Sexy Anything" for Halloween, I'd be calling ACS on my soon-to-be-ex who currently has custody to find out just why a 9-year-old thinks this is normal.

But you know what? Right now I couldn't care less if your kid wants to dress up like a Baby Hooker.

MY MERMAID COSTUME IS HERE!

So the day that Roni and I wait for ALL YEAR is just around the corner. Come out to Coney Island, folks, and have a beer with us (and the rest of the mermaids) at Ruby's.

I'll be the one dressed as a hooker with a tail and long red hair (hey, the votes are in, I'll be a redhead on June 19th).

Soliciting Opinions on a Very Important Matter

This is important.

Since I'm going to be rocking the almost-full mermaid this year (that's topless-LOOKING, not actually topless, you bunch of pervs), the wig MUST cover my secondary girly parts. This means I have to retire the turquoise Louise Brooks, which barely hits my chin.

If you wanted to see Jane in a different mermaid look on June 19th, would you rather see her with novelty (probably blue) hair, curly red Dirty Ariel hair, or naughty blonde lady Godiva curls?
Votes and input, please.

Mermaids Are A'Comin!

More reason to be excited for Mermaid Parade, June 19th (well, other than lots of half-naked girls in sparkly costumes.)

Lou Reed as King Neptune, and Laurie Anderson as Queen Mermaid, in a final flash of Coney Island's seedy glory before it gets all shiny and suburbanized.

I wonder what will happen to the parade once that happens? Will all the raunchy, not-suitable-for-children fun (think topless porno-mermaids on a flatbed simulating cunnilingus, no lie), be excised so the Park Slopians can tote their ankle-biters along? (These are also the folks who insist on bringing toddlers into bars, which for some reason inspires me to tourette's-like behavior, and I'm sure leading to lots of later conversations that begin, "Mommy, what does 'cunt' mean?") To them I will say, if you wanted wholesome All-American kid-friendly fun, what made you think CONEY ISLAND was where to find it?

Plus, you can pretty much bet that if I'm there, wholesome and kid-friendly are not the first words that come to mind.

You're all invited to come with.