Just Say "Thank You"

Most days I look in the mirror and I'm fairly pleased with what I see.

I think I'm a reasonably attractive person.

Am I the prettiest girl in the room? No way.  The thinnest girl in the room? Not by a long shot, buddy. But there's certainly enough to merit a second look or two which, even at my advanced age, I do occasionally get (Spanish guys seem particularly taken with me, which I can't explain, but it may be the reason I've had two half-Puerto Rican boyfriends).

I almost never attribute it to the roll of the DNA dice that arranged my features a certain way. (If that were the case, if life were really fair, I would've gotten Mom's nose instead of Dad's, and his ass instead of hers.)   This helps, but good genes can only do so much. (We're not talking about models here, people. They're genetic anomalies, freaks of nature, and anyone who buys into that crap about "models make women feel bad about themselves," has bigger problems that I'm not qualified to address here.)

I think it's really because I try to go through life looking interested. This is nothing more than a defense mechanism, since I am after all, a New Yorker, and the spacey and unengaged may as well walk around with a flashing arrow pointing at their head with "VICTIM" written in neon letters next to it.  "Interested" is just code for "paying attention," as in, "yeah, dude, I see you walking toward me, and I am totally reading your body language and I just watched you shift your posture slightly toward me, and if you think you're getting my handbag, think again."  Spacey and unengaged got my purse snatched, for the record.
Anyhow.

I don't understand why so many women do not acknowledge their own beauty out loud. For some reason it's unseemly to like your whole package, and it's "ladylike" or "feminine" to say "oh, pshaw," when someone compliments you.

To you I say, when someone compliments you, pay attention to what your trained reaction is. So many women will take a compliment and then, without prompting, turn it around and insult themselves.

"Those new jeans look really good on you."

"Thank you. They make my thighs look big, though, don't they?"

"You look really pretty today."

"Thank you. The humidity is making my hair one big ball of frizz, though."

"You did a really great job on that project."

"Thank you. I wish I had remembered to include that one detail about xyz."

Okay.  Ladies?

I want you to stop it.

Listen, when someone is paying you a compliment, it is because they have noticed something about you that is pleasing to them, that they like. Every compliment is a little gift. When you turn it into an insult to yourself, you're not being becomingly modest, you're taking that gift and throwing it on the floor.

Practice doing this for one day:  take every compliment you are given, even the backhanded ones, and just say, "Thank you!"

After you've done it for one day, try doing it for another day. Then a week. Then a month.
See if it doesn't make you feel better.

Oh, and one more thing?  Stand up straight, and look interested, for God's sake.