Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Weltschmertz

Isn't it a great word? I'm not sure why I like it so much. Maybe because it so perfectly captures a state of mind in a way that no pedestrian English word can. The German language does have a couple of good words after all (one of my other no-equal-in-English favorites is "schadenfreude").

World sadness.

Perfect for me right now. Maybe it's all this economic uncertainty, or residual jetlag and exhaustion from a nine-day business trip. Maybe it's that I just can't believe that it's been two years since Dad died and I still sometimes feel so terribly sad. Maybe it's because I'm waiting and watching for my old cat to curl up one day and just let go at last (I can't even think about having to make the last ride to Dr. Felton with the Sherpa bag without crying. Poor old man. I can tell myself he's had a good life -- no, he's had a GREAT life -- but that doesn't stop me from being sad when I watch his bony blind self bumping along the furniture to get to the food bowl. What will be worse -- having him go to sleep one day and let go, or having to appoint myself the Mambo Death Panel and put him to sleep? Put ME to sleep, please.)

This will pass, it always does, but for now I think I just need to go through it to come out the other side. I was thinking today -- what must life be like for people who feel like this all the time?

One more thing about the word: I also really, really like it because it's the only word I've ever seen with six consonants in a row.

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