I Am Not Making This Up

Hey, Dave Barry flies American! I know this because I was behind him in the security line. Yes, I saw Dave Barry with his shoes off. I am not making this up.

Yessiree Bob, I am racking up the celebrity sightings, aren't I?

Meanwhile, with dozens of empty seats at gate D2, some woman with a suitcase, a giant purse and an ugly canvas tote bag big enough to hold a full-grown collie had to sit practically on top of me, at which point she proceeded, with maximum fidgeting and fussing which entailed knocking into me several times with her raised elbow, to stuff her purse into the tote bag in an effort to make it seem like she's actually only carrying two bags onto the plane.

I wish her luck cramming her shit into an overhead and under the seat in front of her. The equipment on these ORD runs is inevitably an MD-80, which is basically a yellow schoolbus with wings.

My trip was only booked yesterday, so I've got that choice row 31 seat next to the engine. On the upside, it is a bulkhead seat so my little legs have some stretchin room.

See you in Chicago, where a stroll through O'Hare makes me feel positively slender!