Rush to Judgement

Your Jane is heartily amused by the whole brouhaha going on right now with Rush Limbaugh, thrice-divorced, drug addict, Viagra smuggler, radio bloviator, traitor to his country, misquoter of the Constitution, and generally bloated toad.

Picture this: a men's room at the Port Authority, up on the 2nd floor, towards the 9th Avenue side. The stall doors are closed, but inside one stall kneels Phil Gingrey, and inside another Michael Steele has his pants around his ankles and his buttocks pressed to the hole drilled into the walls of the stall. Suddenly the door is flung open and a sweating, 400-pound bag of shit oozes in. It is Rushba the Hutt! He approaches the stall with Gingrey, unzipping. Well, you know the rest of the story (so sorry to the late Paul Harvey!). The Republican Party is now officially nothing but a series of glory holes for Rushba. I just want to know when we are going to see Bobby Jindal in a steel bikini chained to his side.

Frankly, I'm so happy to see Carville, Begala, and Podesta are back and have joined forces with Rahm Emanuel. This article from politico.com lays out the strategy pretty clearly: Instead of trying to drive a wedge between Republican legislators and Limbaugh, they instead counter-intuitively pushed them together, forcing the GOP-ers to try to disavow Limbaugh. They get Rush radio beatdown, and thus they are forced to crawl back and grovel publicly to Rush, thereby publicly aligning themselves with a guy who appeals to the swampiest, under-the-rock 20% of their party, and thereby alienating the more moderate majority.

It's evil psychological genius at its best.

Quoth Carville, "If your opponent is sinking, throw the son of a bitch an anvil!"

Republican Party, meet your anvil: Rush Limbaugh.

It also shows that these guys have totally crawled inside Limbaugh's psyche -- they know that he's such an egomaniacal turd, that despite his public protestations, he secretly DOES believe that he's the guy in charge of the party. He takes the bait every single time, guaranteeing that the cycle may go on and on for months. He's so narcissistically convinced of his own power that today he even challenged the President to a debate!

President Obama, after tossing out the casual comment in his first week about Limbaugh that was apparently taken as the first shot across the bow, has wisely stayed above the fray.

The thing the Republicans, and especially the Fat Turd, don't seem to get is this: President Obama and his staff don't have to try to be bipartisan with Rush and his dumboheads. They only have to try to be bipartisan with other legislators. E-lec-ted officials. And as Emanuel said somewhere, "We only have to try to be bipartisan. We don't have to succeed."

Smart, ruthless, and ballsy as hell to put it right out there. No hiding in the back room like that pasty fetus Karl Rove used to do. Hell, Rahm went on "Meet the Press" this past Sunday and came right out and said, "He [Rush] is the voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party." I'd almost say that Rahm had a little twinkle in his eye while he said it.

The Rush-hole sounds crazier and crazier and crazier every day. I can't bring myself to listen to his show, but we're pretty much guaranteed clips on every news show, every day, so he's pretty inescapable right now. Did you catch the video of him at that CPAC conference? Coked out of his mind, as evidenced by the constant nose wiping and what about that jumping up and down thing?

Anyway, I was only a toddler when a bunch of hippies tried to levitate the Pentagon by meditating. Do you think if several million people, at the same moment, say, when Rush is on the air, concentrated hard enough, we could make his heart explode? On the radio? How cool would that be?