We have gotten a couple of inches of snow and everyone is acting like bin Ladin is in Jersey (I know, the analogy used to be "acting like the Russians are in Jersey," but the times they are a'changin'). Breathless "Breaking News" stories, video of people emptying the bread and milk shelves at grocery stores, shots of snowplows scraping the streets...I wonder how many schools will be closed on Monday because of this "WINTER STORM" (cue scary music). Does anyone remember the blizzard of 1996? Now that was a storm!
Since this pissant snowstorm is expected to last through tomorrow, I'm willing to bet that a certain one of my teammates will be calling out on Monday. Apparently, a dusting is grounds for her to stay home because she "lives on a big hill" out in Jersey. I'm sorry? Did I hear that correctly? I don't care if she uses personal days to do it, why is she the only one who does it? For the love of god, I lived at 11,000 feet on the side of a mountain in Colorado, and routinely woke up with a foot of snow on the roads, and I made it into work every day! It may have taken me 45 minutes to get down the mountain, and I may have done it sideways in my sad little '99 Buick, but dammit, I got there. The worst thing that ever happened to me was one day I left my house, and there was so much snow I couldn't see the steps outside my front door and I faceplanted after misjudging where the steps were.
Is there a secret hidden mountain range in the Garden State that becomes impassable with a little snow? Whatever happened to the old tried and true weatherman's mantra, "allow extra time?" Everyone else in the department does it, why can't she? She's not the only one who lives out in Buttfuck, New Jersey. And it's not like she has to be there for her kids in case their school is closed -- her husband is a computer consultant who WORKS FROM HOME!
Sorry to bitch about this, 'cause you know I love my job, but this is a person who, when there was merely a forecast of snow on the Friday before Christmas, planned to take the next day off, knowing that she was also taking both weeks of Christmas. No contingency plan to come in late, or leave early, or work from home. She just... took the day off.
Oh, and did I mention that every other person in my department worked either one or both weeks of this funky holiday season -- she is the only person in the department, aside from the SON OF THE FOUNDER OF THE COMPANY, who took both weeks off. As my office-mate said (sympathetically), "Wow, that was a really dick move!"
Now, I feel totally justified in bitching because I am the one who is personally responsible for covering for her when she is out of the office (we have assigned coverage), and every single one of her jobs is a disaster -- behind schedule, estimates late, and she makes no plans with her clients for her absences. The rest of us have established a protocol that when we are going to be out, we schedule a status review with our assigned covering person before we leave, and we put our houses in order to minimize the impact of our absences. This means doing actual client management, and doing your covering person the courtesy of going over your status report before you leave. This one strolled in on that Thursday when I was in the middle of a color review, threw a copy of her status report on my desk, and left. FOR TWO WEEKS.
Oh, after we all came back to work on Monday, she then took a sick day on Tuesday. Needless to say, I spent most of the past couple of weeks cleaning up messes and wanting her dead. And apologizing to my own clients in a non-throwing-my-teammate-under-the-bus-way when I didn't deliver estimates or respond to requests in a timely manner.
My opportunity for revenge is at hand, though. I have 5 personal days and 3 vacation days to use before March 31st, and another 5 vacation days to use before June 30th. Do I research when her kids' school break is and take my time then? Or do what I usually do, schedule them when I feel like taking them and leave her adequately prepared to do nothing but initial job bags as they are routed through the agency? Probably the latter, but it's fun to fantasize about fucking her mightily.
"Boy, do I owe you lunch," she said to me on Wednesday, as I thought, "Honey, you don't owe me lunch, you owe me an ounce of pot and a hooker."
6 comments:
i missed these posts!!
and, yes, yes, i agree with the letter-writing too. check your mailbox soon. xoxo
The real weather pussies are all concentrated in Washington, D.C. When I was growing up there all it took was one cloud on a cold day and they'd shut down the the schools. This was mostly because the teachers were nearly all lazy incompetent ignorant fucks clocking time to their pensions, and we hated them so much we were as glad for the day off as they were.
"lazy incompetent ignorant fucks" would be a really good name for a thrash metal band.
What Archer said is SO true. And very pathetic it is!
Okay, get the Jersey bashing out of the way. I grew up in the rolling hills of North Jersey, and they never prevented me from driving in altered states throughout the icy,snowy lanscapes of my youth. Blame global warming
Ace
Ace - Did I bash Jersey? If I had written "a secret hidden, SMELLY mountain range," that would have been Jersey-bashing.
I LOVE Jersey. I WORSHIP Jersey!
Plus, it's the only way to get to Pennsylvania.
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