You know what? After being held hostage on more flights than I can remember by unruly children whose parents refuse to discipline them, I admit that I was gleeful to read that the good people at AirTran did this.
I've got my own ideas about air travel, see?
First, I think the airlines would do themselves and their passengers a favor by having a few flights every day -- say those early morning and early evening businessman specials -- designated as "CHILD FREE." Meaning -- you and your screaming ankle-biters take the unpopular midday or later evening flights. As a business traveler, I've probably purchased my ticket on shorter notice and thus for more moola than you have, hells yeah, I think I'm entitled to some peace and quiet. Business travelers the world over would thank me for this. If you've spent hours having your seat kicked by a rambunctious toddler whose overweening parent offers you nothing more than a namby-pamby smile in return for your murderous glare, then you know what I'm talking about.
Second, since nowadays the airlines treat us like cargo when we're in flight (not even offered a can of Coke on my flight to Pittsburgh last weekend? Come ON.), then have the fares set up as freight rates. You know, charge a minimum transportation fee, then for every pound over the minimum weight, tack on a per miles/per pound rate. Given the size of some of the asses I saw toddling through airports recently, I'd say the airlines would stand to make some money on this.
Here's my personal favorite: Do you really want to piss off the parent sitting in the row behind you? Refer to Darling Junior as "it." As in, "Can you make it stop doing that?"
2 comments:
I don't necessarily believe a flight crew these days when they decide someone is "interfering"--the anti-terror stuff has turned them into a bunch of petty tyrants--but this sounds believable. There is a HUGE group of parents out there who believes that their children are gods and the world should revolve around them. To hell with a hundred other passengers, little Ashley needs more time to crawl around and scream before she's ready to be buckled in. I like the idea of kid-free flights!
I'm game for Child-free flights, but only if there are some other specialized flights as well. Like "Loud Talker-free," "B.O.-free," "Snorer-free," "Cell Phone Talker While Trying to Remove a Bag From the Overhead One-handed-free," "Smells Like an Ashtray-free," "Putting Your Seat All the Way Back Into my Lap Even Though You're Only 5'2"-free," and "Flatulant-free."
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