Thursday, December 21, 2006

I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Claus

A guy I work with innocently approached my desk with his cd case open and held out like a prayerbook.

"Jane, I brought in some Christmas music for you."

I threw my arms up in front of my face, as a vampire does when confronted with a cross. After the hissing subsided, I gave him my sweetest smile.

"I'm very sorry, Scooter, didn't anyone tell you? I'm the Girl Who Hates Christmas."

He laughed. He thought I was kidding.

The smile never left my face.

"No, seriously, get that shit the fuck away from me."

He backed away, very, very slowly, and from a safe distance said,

"Wow, you really DO hate Christmas, don't you?"

And now, wafting over his partition, I hear the happy sounds of -- blues guitar.

Point to Jane.

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