Brooks Orpik puts a Hurtin' on Marian Hossa

...oh... what? ... oh, was I really just dreaming? The Stanley Cup Finals don't start until Saturday?

Dang.

I am very, very, very excited that we are getting the grudge match I've been wishing for, if only because of the possibility of the carpetbagger Marian Hossa NOT getting the cup he carpetbagged his way over to Detroit for. Hossa is the Roger Clemens of hockey, and I hope Crosby and Malkin wipe the ice with him and that Brooks Orpik finishes him off. Since the Pens don't have Ruutu and Laraque anymore, Orpik's the closest thing the Pens have to an enforcer. But since he's getting up there in years (ready for the glue factory at 38), I'd hardly even call him a pest (a type best defined by Rangers closet-case Sean Avery); Orpik has become more, well, pesky. So if we have to have any sort of physical hockey during the finals, I hope it's Orpik on Hossa. (There was a rolling-around-on-the-ice fight during last night's Wings-Hawks game, and it was kind of refreshing to watch). Maybe it'll get old school and we'll see Chelios and Orpik go at it. Yeah!

You may find this hard to believe but hockey has gotten more, ahem, gentlemanly. Sigh. Where are the cementheads and goons of yesteryear? I like when the gloves come off and things get rough. It's part of the game. You remember that old joke, don't you? I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. Badump-bump! Chhh!

And speaking of the old-school hockey, take a look at Chris Chelios reminiscing about his favorite old coach:



Pittsburgh v. Detroit, Game 1, Saturday night, May 30th.

I'll be the one at Lansdowne screaming, "Englewood Jack! Englewood Jack!"

American Muscle Car

Hate to break it to you, guys, but my brother has a cooler car than yours. He bought it new back when there was still leaded gas, and he was a championship autocross driver. Can you imagine one of today's overfed white guys buying a new American muscle car and actually putting it through its automotive paces? He keeps it in storage nowadays, preferring to tool around Pittsburgh in a ratty white truck while doing his sprint car racing on the weekends, but every now and again he unwraps it for the envious to admire.








Now THAT's a badass car.

Thank Your Pilots

You know those flights where it feels like you're landing a little bit sideways? Where the back end of the plane seems to be, well, skidding like your Volvo on black ice? And you don't feel one tidy thump upon landing, but three really distinct, jarring crunches as if the pilot is jamming the landing gear down one set at a time to make sure they're all down?

Well, that's because you ARE landing sideways. The plane IS skidding, and the pilots ARE jamming the gear onto the pavement.

It seems to be a pretty common thing at LGA (I just expect LGA landings to be white-knucklers -- funky approaches, short runways, etc.), but in case you're wondering what those landings actually look like, check out this video. After seeing this, some of you may never fly again. I just hope I never have to go to Hong Kong Kai Tak.

It's Hockey Night in Pittsburgh!

Best team theme music EVER.

Your Janey is dying for a Pens-Wings redemption fight in the Cup finals this year.

Pens won big tonight, 6-2 against the Hurricanes. Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby were virtually unstoppable, and frankly, it reminded me of the Lemieux/Jagr days of old. (I also wonder what goes on in the head of Ron Francis, who helped the Penguins to their first Cup in 1991 behind Lemieux and is now the Carolina associate head coach.)

It was great, heart-pounding playoff hockey. The Pens are up 3 games to zero, and they could clinch their spot in the finals on Tuesday night in Carolina (wish it could be at home, but I'll take a sweep anyplace).

Hats off to the 'canes' net man, Cam Ward, who played an amazing game.

Plus, I love that the Pens have Satan playing on their side.

Supersweet but Simpleminded

This is how she normally looks.

She is quite possibly the sweetest, most affectionate kitty you will ever meet, a little shy around strangers, but after a while she sashays out to make friends. She's very playful and frequently tears ass from one end of my railroad apartment to the other, patching out on the fur tufts on her paws. All that being said, she isn't going to win any awards for being a particularly clever cat. The sticky-outy tongue thing (pictured above), which is her normal expression, doesn't help, either.

She's kind of like the Jessica Simpson of cats.