I, The Jury

Folks, your Janey got picked! Gosh darnit! I was so sure that I would be in and out in 1 day, and well, true to my Instant Karma, at the end of DAY 2, I was picked. I won't say any more until after the case is over, suffice it to say I will be out for several more days.

So far, there's a whole lot of sitting and waiting, and looking at people, and doing crossword puzzles and reading the paper. Which, of course, is the perfect opportunity for a few random thoughts:

1) If you are going to buy one of those do-it-yourself eyebrow kits at Duane Reade, you are now officially warned that your eyebrows are not going to turn out like this:










You are going to look like this:




















2. It's a really lucky thing for Albert Pujols that he's good-looking AND a major league baseball player. Otherwise, he's just a poor schmuck named "Pujols."



3. Why are people flipping out over this:



















more than they flipped out over this:





In our culture of countdowns to age 18 and the oversexualization of teenaged girls, I don't see how showing that a teenager is fuckable is worse than gestational proof that a teenager was actually fucking.

Besides, I think the Annie Liebowitz photo is beautiful and everyone needs to untwist their knickers.





4. I always knew Roger Clemens was a dick. I never trust guys whose eyes are too close together. (ref: Jason Giambi)