Topsy Turvy Week and Bitching about the Subway

Oy vey, finishing out one job, starting at the new one.

But, ahhhh, the bliss of not having to awaken at 5 o'clock in order to arrive at work at 8:45.

Downside: riding the subway with creeps, cretins, and dumbasses at rush hour.

Why is it the skinny white kids (and by kids, I mean those hipster-wannabe 20-somthings in artful 2nd-hand clothing and too many tattoos) who always take up more than their fair fucking share of space on the subway? I mean, the chicks either spread their shit over two seats, or they sit on one of the bench seats pretending they don't realize they're taking up 1-1/2 seats. I've made it my personal crusade that no matter how many other empty seats there are on that car, I will walk over and point my substantial ass directly at girlie's Vera Bradley bag. Do you have one ass? Then you get one seat. You WILL move, bitch.

And the guys? What the F-in F do they have in those backpacks? They wave them around like camel humps without regard for anyone standing near them, and refuse to remove them and put them between their feet during rush hour. Your civic duty is to lean against them as if they are a wall.

Someone once asked me, "What's a 9/12 New Yorker?" Well, these kids certainly fit part of the description. All I would need to hear one of them say is, "My parents help me out," to know they are real NineTwelvers. Oh, and by the way, the English translation of "My parents help me out," is "My parents send me a check every month that covers my rent, utilities, and incidentals. My paycheck is my going-out money."

This heat is definitely taking a toll on my temperament today.

Fershure.

LeTour

*sigh*

I feel so let down this year. Le scandale of doping has me so bummed out. With entire TEAMS being bounced because of doping, it feels like 1998 all over again. (Though Miss Midwesterly's friend had the best "lemons out of lemonade" take on it that I've heard so far...)

The upside is that it bounces Levi Leipheimer right into the top 3, with a yellow jersey kinda reachable.

Wouldn't that just chap the asses of the French if another American won by default?

CAUTION: HARRY POTTER SPOILERS!

Just kidding.

To my friends: if you want to talk about it, there are lots of other people besides me to do it with. Somewhere around the Goblet of Fire, I lost interest.

And for all you perverts out there (and I know you're out there) Emma Watson turns 18 on April 15, 2008. You can start your creepy countdown now. But just so you know, the Karmic retribution for having "I could legally fuck her" countdowns is that somewhere in your town, someone inappropriate is thinking about YOUR daughter and wanking in the shower. Could be her band director, her soccer coach, her SAT prep coach.

Probably, though, it's that 50 year old divorced guy who lives next door to you.

Addiction is a Choice

As a firm believer that addiction as a "spiritual sickness" or "disease" is just a big pile of steaming horseapples, and that 12-Step programs are downright dangerous, I am waiting, waiting, waiting for someone in the scientific community to grow enough balls to say so.

That being said, I read the Time cover story, then followed the blog here and here, then this Slate article, I have a few questions that I want to explore further, but in short, they are:

1) Are there any other "diseases" in the medical canon besides addiction that can be self-diagnosed? The conventional wisdom is that you're an alcoholic if you say you are. Can I walk into my doctor's office and say, hey, doc, I've decided that I have cancer, hand over the Oxycontin! Or go to a shrink and say, I have anxiety, hand over the Xanax. Oh wait, I can do that last one.

2) I had a discussion with a pal who is a member of the cult -- er, I mean, a devoted AA (and I have never met an angrier group of people) -- and when I told him I did 90 days but decided it wasn't for me, his response was, "Then you're not really an alcoholic." But the logic doesn't follow. If I stayed, and became a devotee of the AA Way, would that mean that I was just an alcoholic with a high bottom?

See what I mean about a load of crap? Why is no one in the medical community willing to step out and really test and study the efficacy of 12-step programs, when the evidence is right there in front of them that THEY DON'T WORK. I've heard 5% success rate. Most diseases have a spontaneous remission rate of about... oh... 5%.

Sadder still, I've sat and listened to people who have been in and out of AA something like 20 or 30 times say "It Works." Oh, really? I'd say, looking at you, that it doesn't. And everyone who "fails" out of AA takes all the blame on themselves. They say they failed the program. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER SAY, THE PROGRAM FAILED ME.

Wanted: Grim Reaper. Must be Cute and Furry, Have Loud Purr

I don't think he's a harbinger of death, I think he's a spirit guide, or a Reaper in the spirit of Dead Like Me.